Drama at St. Mark's

Last night was a hard night. Mom was restless all night...sleeping at the head of her bed, sleeping at the foot of her bed, and sleeping in her chair. Just about as soon as she'd get settled and get an hour or so of sleep, a nurse would come in to poke, prod, test and monitor her. It was a long night to be sure. Fortunately, after Jann left, Bret, Bruce, Curt and I have been able to each spend a night with her, so it hasn't been too great a burden on any one of us and has been a good bonding experience with Mom. Good thing we moved last night into the floor's "mansion" in 3South12, with wall-to-wall windows facing southward to a view of the mountains and plenty of room for family and friends to visit. Man, that was a blessed break!!
News hasn't been great today. When the nephrologist, Dr. Bjordahl, came in this morning, he said that her kidneys are getting worse by the day. Creatinine levels are up to 3.5 from her admitting level of 1.8 (ideal is .8-1.3). Urine output levels are okay but not at acceptable levels. She is retaining too much fluid and even high doses of diuretics don't seem to make the kidneys function any better. In fact, when the kidneys have to work so hard to get fluid levels down, they go into survival mode and tend to retain more fluids and salt. This causes greater weakness and nausea, both of which Mom has experienced. Dr. Bjordahl mentioned the dreaded D (dialysis) word, but we're not ready to consider that yet. In fact, when the cardiologist, Dr. Kenwood came in later this afternoon, he said her urine output was a little better today than yesterday. They did a bladder/kidney ultrasound, revealing a bladder that was partially full, so they flushed out and replaced her catheter, removing SEVERAL blood clots at the entrance to the catheter. She had a bladder and yeast infection, so we're hopeful that kidney output will become better as these hurdles are overcome.
Tomorrow we are hoping that her coumadin levels will be low enough (INR) that she will be able to have a thoracentesis (or pleural tap) to remove fluid from her lung cavity. We've heard this will make her feel like a new woman. Nine years ago when she had this same procedure done following her 6 bypass surgery, they were able to extract 3 liters of fluid. That's GOTTA make you feel better.
We have to keep telling ourselves that patience is the key. After all, she's only 2 weeks away from MAJOR heart surgery! Dr. Kenwood said that for the problems she is experiencing right now, she still looks 100% better to him than she looked 3 weeks ago just prior to heart valve surgery.
We had a hiccup today when I went out to the waiting room to talk on the phone to family for about 15 minutes. Mom was sound asleep when I left. I returned to find her passed out, sitting against the bed on the ground with her oxygen off. Long story that I won't go into here, but what a scary experience!! Fortunately, we were able to get her oxygen back on her and she got her saturation levels up from 64 into the 90's with all her other stats looking good. No ill side effects, but it made us realize that we can't leave her alone for any period of time, at least for awhile!
Curt and I attended the LDS church service in the little Chapel of the Shepherd at St. Marks again today. I was struck by the song we sang, "Be Still My Soul". The words were particularly poignant as I pondered on my Mom's experience here the past month:

Be Still, My Soul, Hymn no. 124

1. Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev’ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav’nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

2. Be still, my soul: Thy God doth undertake
To guide the future as he has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: The waves and winds still know
His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.

3. Be still, my soul: The hour is hast’ning on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love’s purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: When change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Our Heavenly Father in his infinite wisdom could have taken Mom several times in the past month. We accept the fact that he could very well choose to take her again. However, he has NOT taken her to be with him yet, and we feel it is for a very great purpose. We are SO GRATEFUL for the miracles we have seen this past month and continue to pray for patience as, with faith-guided stillness" we watch the hand of the LORD unfold in our lives and in the lives of our Mother.