My Meltdown day

Okay...I know this blog is NOT about me. I would also like to keep this as pleasant as possible. However, my writing is heavily influenced by the emotions and feelings I have about Mom’s recovery...so please bear with me...
Today was my meltdown day. I know I got much more sleep than the one or two hours that Bruce got with Mom last night during, what we affectionately refer to as his “night from H-E-double toothpick”. However, when I was a young girl...teenager...young mother, blah, blah, blah, and I would emotionally break down into tears for no reason, Mom always told me, “Jill, would you please go lie down and get a nap? You’ll be much more reasonably/emotionally capable after you’ve gotten some sleep.” So I blame my emotional breakdown today on the fact that I’m dealing with a lot of stress and lack of needed sleep.
I got a phone call this morning that Mom and Bruce had had a horrible night and that right now, Mom was on an oxygen mask (covering both her nose and mouth). WHAT!?! This isn’t supposed to happen! She’s supposed to be in rehab and getting better. After all, we did buy the oximeter to monitor her oxygen sats. We did find her a beautiful place to reside in while she was getting better to boost her spirits. She CAN’T go back in the hospital now!! Not yet!! I hurried over to ARW (Aspen Ridge West) and relieved a tired Bruce, who ended up driving all over Utah all afternoon (angels must have kept him awake!!). Then I spent the day with her.
Some good things happened today...
– she went down to the rehab gym and worked with Lisa the PT. However, most of the exercise she got was trying to do deep breaths so her oxygen would come up from the 71 or 72 that it had dropped to while doing simple exercises. (This is where I lost my emotional stability and had to leave the rehab gym so that Mom wouldn’t see what a boob I was, watching her struggle to take shallow breaths in order to get sats up to 90!...unfortunately, when the flood gates opened, tears flowed off and on the remainder of the day).
– we impressed the PT enough about her oxygen concerns, that we were able to get a chest x-ray ordered and the nurse practitioner was able to give us the results...edema in the right field (meaning lungs, heart cavity...or what). We gave the condensed version of Mom’s exhaustive medical history from the past 6 weeks to several different people today. We almost have the report down to a science...and I know the nurses and therapists now have a healthy respect for Mom’s medical concerns...we even talked them into giving her more lasix (diuretic).
– She had several people visit her today...a friend from the Cornerstone, Diane Smith, Norma Jean Remington, Wendy, Janey, Curt, Richie and family, and Bret. She always loves company, although I don’t know how much rest she gets with the company. But I think it also rejuvenates her momentarily.
– The OTs, Jill and Melissa came today to assess her and work a little with her to determine strength. She seems weaker, but still has some strength where it counts. I really liked Jill (and not because of the name only!) She seems like the one who is the MOST knowledgeable in the facility, although the others are pretty good.
– She got some good spurts of rest during the day (when she wasn’t in the bathroom passing off the lasix effects). At times she was almost groggy from the deep sleep, but her O2 sats were good, so I let her nap...hopefully that won’t hurt Bret’s night’s sleep with Mom tonight.
I must admit, I love sitting next to Mom throughout the day and rubbing her shoulders or holding her hand. I wish there was a good place where I could put my arms around her and hold her in my lap...but she is getting lots of foot rubs from kids and grandkids to warm up her feet and make her feel GREAT, so that helps.
I’m hoping that progress, though VERY slow, will continue and that she won’t become another hospital victim of congestive heart failure. She’s been blessed with strength from angels, my Dad and Heavenly Father. With her earthly family and friend supporters, what more could you ask for!! Go, go, Mom!!!